Monday, October 22, 2012

Pulling ourselves back up

I feel I need to follow-up on my last post and say I'm doing better. I can't claim that I'm totally comparison or envy free, but my perspective is continusouly getting better and better. I appreciate the comments to help me know I am not alone on this one. We are all struggling, and it helps me keep in perspective just how glorious it is to know that the Lord's side wins because man--Satan is smart. He knows exactly where I am weak. But I am blessed to have counsel from our living Prophets to bring me up again.

The Lovely Bethany pointed me to this gem by Elder Holland.  I would post the enitre talk here because every sentence is so profound. But I feel like this quote is pretty much how I was feeling before:

"In a world that constantly compares people, ranking them as more or less intelligent, more or less attractive, more or less successful, it is not easy to really believe in a [divine] love that does not do the same. When I hear someone praised,” he says, “it is hard not to think of myself as less praiseworthy; when I read about the goodness and kindness of other people, it is hard not to wonder whether I myself am as good and kind as they; and when I see trophies, rewards, and prizes being handed out to special people, I cannot avoid asking myself why that didn’t happen to me"

And now I'm feeling much more like this:

"Brothers and sisters, I testify that no one of us is less treasured or cherished of God than another. I testify that He loves each of us—insecurities, anxieties, self-image, and all. He doesn’t measure our talents or our looks; He doesn’t measure our professions or our possessions. He cheers on every runner, calling out that the race is against sin, not against each other. I know that if we will be faithful, there is a perfectly tailored robe of righteousness ready and waiting for everyone, 14 “robes … made … white in the blood of the Lamb.” 15 May we encourage each other in our effort to win that prize is my earnest prayer, in the name of Jesus Christ, amen."

Thank you for not chastising me in my momment of confession. And please do not hesitate to post your successes and accomplishments--they truly give me hope and inspiration.

Thursday, October 18, 2012

Stuck in a Rut

I think I need help.
Mostly I need someone to empathize with me and tell me I'm not the only one that has these feelings.

A couple months ago we had a 5th Sunday lesson about the postivies of the internet. I'm really grateful for that lesson because otherwise I might get overwhelmed with how negativly the internet can influence me.

What I mean is that I get bombarded (okay its probably my fault for reading blogs all the time and browsing facebook) with everyone's success stories and then sit back and think, "what the heck? am I not doing enough with my life?"

Does anyone else get discouraged about this? Or ask if these people are even real?

I understand that people aren't going to post about their failures and short comings for the most part. Heck--I haven't posted in a couple months because I haven't felt I have anything to "talk" (alright, I mean brag) about right now. But why is that the case? Why do we fear what others will think of us? Why have we defined success by how busy we are?

I already have answers to all these questions, and tomrrow I'm sure I'll feel my normal self again. But for now I feel like I need to take a stance against the world.

My name is Heather. I don't have the patience to sew perfect lines for quilts. I don't have a smart phone yet. My face still breaks out more than I would like it to. And that is okay!

                            --Let's be honest, I've been blessed with way more than I deserve.