Pulling ourselves back up

I feel I need to follow-up on my last post and say I'm doing better. I can't claim that I'm totally comparison or envy free, but my perspective is continusouly getting better and better. I appreciate the comments to help me know I am not alone on this one. We are all struggling, and it helps me keep in perspective just how glorious it is to know that the Lord's side wins because man--Satan is smart. He knows exactly where I am weak. But I am blessed to have counsel from our living Prophets to bring me up again.

The Lovely Bethany pointed me to this gem by Elder Holland.  I would post the enitre talk here because every sentence is so profound. But I feel like this quote is pretty much how I was feeling before:

"In a world that constantly compares people, ranking them as more or less intelligent, more or less attractive, more or less successful, it is not easy to really believe in a [divine] love that does not do the same. When I hear someone praised,” he says, “it is hard not to think of myself as less praiseworthy; when I read about the goodness and kindness of other people, it is hard not to wonder whether I myself am as good and kind as they; and when I see trophies, rewards, and prizes being handed out to special people, I cannot avoid asking myself why that didn’t happen to me"

And now I'm feeling much more like this:

"Brothers and sisters, I testify that no one of us is less treasured or cherished of God than another. I testify that He loves each of us—insecurities, anxieties, self-image, and all. He doesn’t measure our talents or our looks; He doesn’t measure our professions or our possessions. He cheers on every runner, calling out that the race is against sin, not against each other. I know that if we will be faithful, there is a perfectly tailored robe of righteousness ready and waiting for everyone, 14 “robes … made … white in the blood of the Lamb.” 15 May we encourage each other in our effort to win that prize is my earnest prayer, in the name of Jesus Christ, amen."


Thank you for not chastising me in my momment of confession. And please do not hesitate to post your successes and accomplishments--they truly give me hope and inspiration.

Stuck in a Rut

I think I need help.
Mostly I need someone to empathize with me and tell me I'm not the only one that has these feelings.

A couple months ago we had a 5th Sunday lesson about the postivies of the internet. I'm really grateful for that lesson because otherwise I might get overwhelmed with how negativly the internet can influence me.

What I mean is that I get bombarded (okay its probably my fault for reading blogs all the time and browsing facebook) with everyone's success stories and then sit back and think, "what the heck? am I not doing enough with my life?"

Does anyone else get discouraged about this? Or ask if these people are even real?

I understand that people aren't going to post about their failures and short comings for the most part. Heck--I haven't posted in a couple months because I haven't felt I have anything to "talk" (alright, I mean brag) about right now. But why is that the case? Why do we fear what others will think of us? Why have we defined success by how busy we are?

I already have answers to all these questions, and tomrrow I'm sure I'll feel my normal self again. But for now I feel like I need to take a stance against the world.

My name is Heather. I don't have the patience to sew perfect lines for quilts. I don't have a smart phone yet. My face still breaks out more than I would like it to. And that is okay!

                            --Let's be honest, I've been blessed with way more than I deserve.

3 years

Last night as the sun had already set, we walked around the high school track next to our apartment. Hand-in-hand we got carried away in a discussion about freedom of speech and the policies behind tax law (most if it I don't really get). Our voices hardly concealed the excitement as we played out future scenarios of living our dreams. What would we do if Mitch got this internship? Or what would it be like if we lived in that state (or country)?

3 years ago I married Mitch with dreams of what would come. Many of those dreams have changed but I still can't believe how much joy I have as the wife of this man. I've learned that it doesn't really matter what happens to us. Success or failure in whatever we dream--the only thing that truly matters is that I did it with him.

Love you Mitch.

life lately

Mitch starts school again tomorrow. I've been spoiled this summer having him in the evenings and going on trips. I haven't posted in a month and I know I won't get around to doing a post for each thing that happened the last half of this summer. But I did finally load pictures from my camera to Mitch's fancy new laptop. So here are some of the exciting things that happened:

Dear Liz got married. It was so beautiful.

We went to Kanosh with Tyson and Keera and other great friends. 

They have some awesome warm springs there. 

Mitch finally saw Old Faithful.

Baby Paul was born--the Hunsaker name lives on.

I spent time with friends.

Mitch and I both had birthdays.

Dad ran his first half-marathon. (and Karren dominated her second one)

We got to spend a lot of time with family.

And cute Madie got married.

This summer was great. We are curious for what this fall will bring.  (I'm sorry if I missed other things that happened this summer, these are just the ones I had photos to document)

Hunsaker Olympics 2012

We had the Jesse Hunsaker family reunion last week up in Ashton, Idaho at a beautiful cabin. It was very large and right on the river; it was so much fun. We decided to do a mini olympics to get in the mood for the end of this month (I love to watch the olympics). We divided up into teams and represented countries of ancestry: Isle of Man, England, Sweden, and Switzerland. (My team was Switzerland and we dominated) Each night we had various events and a hoot of a time. I love my family so much I can hardly contain the excitement.

26.2

I have so much to catch up on, summer is always so busy. We've had Liz's wedding, family events, Alpine on fire causing an evacuation, and lots more coming up. But I have to devote one post just to my marathon.

As I was 400 m from the finish line, this sweet lady next to me told me to hold the image in my mind and try to remember it as I remember my wedding day. I thought that was a little bold at the time, but now I understand why. Running a marathon is the biggest accomplishment I have done physically and the feeling of crossing the finish line is surreal.

The last 6 miles are tough. I've decided that anyone can run 20 miles, its the last 6.2 that get you. And for a first time marathoner, I didn't know what to expect. I was so relieved when I found Mitch on his bike at mile 20. He rode along side me the last 6, and I needed him every step of that.  At mile 22 I was so focused on just putting one foot in front of the other that I didn't even notice my dear friend Katie cheering for me until she was right in my face. The only thing I could mumble to her was "this sucks." Which it did, at mile 22 and all the way to mile 26.  But boy oh boy that last stretch is worth the whole thing. And honestly, the whole way is so neat. I really want to run a marathon with someone in the future for company, but I was glad I did one on my own. I felt so alive and at one with myself.

I crossed the finish line at 4:08 which I was more than happy with considering at one point I didn't know if my body would ever be able to handle a marathon. I have room to improve but I beat my goal. I am so lucky that I had wonderful friends and family to cheer me on at the finish line. As a runner, having a support system makes all the difference.

Kelli and Tom presented me with the Pickett Pineapple at the finish line. That was a great honor! :)

I love this guy--he is the best support. And I am slowly getting him to enjoy running more and more. I doubt I'll ever convince him to run a marathon after my incident (keep reading) but I do believe we will enjoy a lifetime of "callitawalkandthenstartrunning" together.

So I felt great after the marathon for about 30 minutes. But then my vision started getting blurry and I felt like I would pass out. I ended up throwing up and for the next 7 hours I couldn't keep a single thing down. Mitch was really worried and at about 5 pm we ended up at the hospital because of dehydration. After a couple IV's I started feeling great. I just desperately needed some fluids in me and I couldn't keep them down orally.

At one point after the marathon my brother-in-law asked me if the marathon was worth it.  I told him that if I ever wanted to run one again he needed to remind me how miserable I felt afterwards. I'll hold it to him because I already want to run another one.

Butterflies

This week has gone by so slow. I just want 10:30 Saturday morning to be here already. The last couple of days I have been plagued by spontaneous flouts of butterflies in my stomach. Not the type that comes just before a kiss. The type that makes you feel sick with nervousness. This morning I woke up every 10 minutes to check the clock. My dreams played tricks on me as I would wake up in a panic thinking I was going to be late. I doubt I'll get much sleep tonight.